if only ,id b a millionaire or drowned in coins, a cruel irony.

soooooo yes i know i dont fill this in as much as i shud as it is quite clearly my ticket to fame, a real life version of skins bt with a working class hero , jus imagine its mass appeal, and i wudnt hve tht kid with the funny eyebrows taking my role he only looks like he has half a face from certain angles like a bizzarely attractive elephant man.

so channel 4 , yes jamie attacks the hot topics ! , rite so theyve done rascism, well sort of it was more just the stupid ignorance i cud find on any street in england.and theyve done midgets, not literally altho as i remarked 2 joe if tht 2ft woman wanted 2 turn her hand 2 being an escort , shed mek loads in the fetish market, itd b like pretty woman, jus with smaller much smaller...and probably alot more seedy, infact not like tht at all.and now tonite its female sumos? channel 4 is sooooo gonna b getting sold. they dont really hve a clue anymore i mean apart from e4 , wht does channel 4 actually hve for itself anyway. exactly, countdown? paul o grady?deal or no deal?!!! my point is made.and cant b argued with as this is my journal as in this medium i am omnipotent.and basically am talking 2 myself.

so then im suffering from a lack of direction currently, its quite annoying , maybe i shud go on a spiritual journey, perhaps 2 torquay or the yorkshire dales, yessss i know thts not very spiritual bt i dont hve my passport, i dont even think people in the dales wud know wht spiritual is let alone b able 2 help me, theyd probably brand me a nancy n run me out of town, same thing probably happend 2 boy george, altho he was clearly a nancy.

ive found out my office is haunted as my building (prospect house) is built on the site of the old hull royal infirmary and people hve reported seeing doctors and nurses wandering the corridors. and a female patient whos seen crying holding an empty blanket, as she killed herself when her baby died from an early birth

ok tht last one wasnt true, bt thts how my imagination works ! scary eh, im more scared of getting in the lift late at nite, n the light in it going out n coming bk on and ther being a disfigured doctor in the lift with me and i can c him in the mirror and the lift moving well slow and well yeh u get the jist, pure fear !

class

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more serious than interrogating terror suspects, or the deaths of a few 2 save the many, basically just much of 24 (jack bauer by the way is now invincible)

bt no its wether or not i can say a 16 year old who is still at school is fit,nick sed its wrong n i shud say cute, bt cute ? thts well pedo conjures up images of a fat sweaty man in a vest dressing up a girl in a pink fairy dress, n getting his kicks off tht, yes my mind is twisted, bt now youll b thinking the same. so then ther 16 ther legal, bt still in school is kind of like a holding cell. not bin sent 2 prison yet and not bin innoncent and free.

so if i wer 2 say i think jojo is fit and having read wikipedia i know shes 16 i also know shes still in school, does this mek me morally questionable? i had this same ambiguity with the dark haired one out of s club juniors, bt now shes older i can now say shes well fittttt.extra T's ther for impact.



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so went out last nite 2 spiders, sober as a bishop, well not tht one in london, the pisshead, bt a real bible basher type, probably into flagellation we'll jus say like tht albino monk out of da vinci code, he was well devout.no way hes getting fucked up on scotch when hes got killings 2 do in the lords name, hallelujah! anyways yeh so went 2 spiders 2 b honest best part of the day was jus chillin out in town n then at home with joe,nick,n kineman haha. got me a sweet t-shirt made.just the 15 pounds in cost, the look on kynmans face tho, priceless. as was equalising in first of all in the final minute of the game, then in the final minute of extra time, Va va voom motherfucker ! one of the classic lines deliverd by me in the heat of the moment. wudnt catch motson saying tht.

so onwards 2 spiders was soooooooooo boring i cant handle being out n being sober, ive come 2 conclude the reason i cant go out and enjoy myself sober, is because being out at a nightclub, is not a place for the sober version of me, as i hate idiots and having 2 talk 2 drunk people is alot like talking 2 idiots, i cant hack it it annoys me and bores me. now im not knocking drunk people as tht wud b one of the most hipocritical things ever, i love drunk people.......when im drunk.which is usually every single time, thts the first time ive not being drunk on a nite out in at least 6 months ,no joke. so perhaps i was pre-determined 2 already hate going out last nite, and 2 think i cud somehow enjoy it was at best optimistic.so i got a taxi and left early, watched some tennis.

so today went into town changed some shirts at topman and bought some shoes. in a rare moment of focus i actuallly accomplished all the things i set out 2 do, perhaps this is the start of me becoming a smarter, more driven , and organised individual. well for the next week at least till i start drinking again.

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well the dentist sed ive got a bad-ass infection , fortunatly he prescribed me some mega anti-biotics, however the downside 2 this is i cant drink for 9 days. if i wer 2 attempt 2 drink id b violently sick due 2 it having some ingredient in it, which is the same thing they give 2 alcoholics 2 stop them drinking, so 9 days 2 embrace the finer things in life, art, conversation, culture.....erm S&M? maybe not the last one...or the art or culture for tht matter, bt i shall b embracing peoples conversations 2morrow nite. ill probably b bored out of mind, and yes if i am talking 2 u at the time it is partly yore fault.

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literally due 2 me teeth n gums not good altho i am considering sucking it all up for ages till ive got loads in me mouth , then spitting all over someone (preferably a team leader) and then saying im HIV , if tht isnt a good enuff reason 2 get sent home then wht is.

today i discovered ther was a 2nd herbies in town! i had no idea n its way better and closer than the one in prinny quay got me a large bacon sausage and egg sandwich for 2pound and 18p , bargain! altho this saving money on me dinner joy was tempered with the water cooler not working, so i had 2 spend 60p on an unwanted britvic can. it even says "from concentrate" on the front so is tht its way of telling me before ive even drank it i cud hve bought a bottle of robinsons for 30p and made it myself for half the price and for at least quadruple the quantity basically infact laffing at me for its very purchase,bt like i sed it was unwanted. coz the can machine in the office is unique for if yore choice of can isnt in , it wont give u yore change bk and u hve 2 choose something else, a case for trading standards if ever ther was one.

spent most the day rocking out wikipedia im now well informed on ugandan politics ,werzer herzog, and ned kelly.in a years time i will hve amassed enuff wikipedia knowledge 2 conquer pub quizes at a whim. 2 more days of 6am left ! yesss and newcastle on live tonite yesss, and.....erm cant think of a 3rd thing.....im alive ! yesss

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so then another day at work passes i zoned out dont remember much of the day, seriously completely blank ther was this one part wer this guy was screaming n ther was blood so much blood...tht mite hve being a repressed memory i doubt i killed anyone at directory enquiries, i wud if i cud reach down the fone n execute idiots a la johnny depps death in nightmare on elm street. im well tired getting up at 6am does not agree with me.

and my teeth still fuckin kill at least the bleedings calmed down abit, my gums r jus really sore, it mus b a combination of kynman hitting me with the door on new years eve, and me wisdom teeth, 2 think i always used 2 laff when i herd about wisdom teeth pain i cudnt view the concept as painful due its very name, i can now.if the dentist removes any of my teeth im gonna keep em , if thers more than one i cud fashion a knuckle duster, or an ankle bracelet, i mean people pay shitloads for elephant teeth n tht , bt ther real easy 2 get hold of think how much a humans tooth cud b worth if they wer sold freely at H Samuels n tht.mine powerful, diamond white , and with a resonating gleam tht only comes out in the dull aura of dancing summer moon glow. who wudnt want a piece of tht ! mek yore orders now.

50 quid per tooth? fair? yes i thort so 2.

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like the new series of the OC (which was rubbish by the way, summers so weird now i cant even comprehend her believability as a human being let alone a fictional character) so then im back, for the crack, with facts , doing rap...erm... shooting smack and eating smash. yeh thts the mash potato substitute smash if yer not gangsta enuff 2 get yer head around it, the krips wer all about bangers n smash jus before they went free-basing n shot some bloods. 2 b fair alot of deaths cud hve bin avoided if those mad cats had laid off the smash. ok then so now my mc'ing credentials hve bin checked , and approved ill get bk the point.

so yes public opinion and outcry has lead me to come bk i had always intended coming bk i jus went on a break 2 find myself, like batman bt much more mundane.so the new years come round and wht hve i learned.....not alot , i hvnt even started my exercise regime which i will b doing 2 reclaim my physique from when i was 10, not tht i want 2 look like a small boy thts creepy, jus i used 2 b very fit as a child did loads of swimming n tht , i mean if some guy had tried 2 touch me up id hve ripped ther fuckin arms off, i was tht powerful. theyd b writing ther stories in now magazine for a change , pedophile victim wud mek an unusual twist in the real life stories.

so then wht am i up2 , well im all about tree climbing rite now,not literally coz in reality i cudnt climb over a shrub,i wudnt say im obsessed with the tree bt its close, id think inspired is a much nicer term, so then wht is the tree u wonder? well this is the tree.

Girls are like
apples on trees. The best
ones are at the top of the tree.
The boys don't want to reach for
the good ones because they are afraid
of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they
just get the rotten apples from the ground
that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples
at the top think something is wrong with
them, when in reality, they're amazing.
They just have to wait for the right
boy to come along, the one
who's brave enough
to climb
all the way
to the top
of the tree.

it shud b in the full shape of a tree and one half shud b green the bottom half brown, bt i dont hve the ability or the time 2 spare 2 put it in properly. thanks 2 billys profile for providing me this by the way. so then tree climbing yes, im quite obsessed with it. i think im doing good tho........enuff tree talk, and infact enuff from this post this was a comeback tht people mite b like its bin almost a month is he still as good as he was 1st time around? well yes , yes i am. its only bin a month get a grip people. till tmorrow !

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My birthday, wer 2 start........i cud write for pages about all the stuff tht happened, bt i cant b bothered , ill jus say it was the best nite ive had all year ! can talk about the streety gays or the perplexing incident with the plug adaptor, 2 us all being eeriely iresistable despite being completly off our heads haha. got 2 thank all my friends for helping create the greatest bday ever! and imagine it 30 years old with kids........hahaha

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and wht hve`i done? well once the dizzy euphoria of eating gifts has passed........erm nothing, watched far 2 much dog the bounty hunter. bemoaned the fuckin wank tv schedule, and erm....thts about it. so wht did i get u wonder well..

ipod speakers
some new headphones
some dvds
hipflask
bottle of sambuca !

all good.

so then tmorrow is my birthday ! i turn 20 my teenage years hve got roughly about 2hours n a half left. *sighs* oh well my inspiration are my older friends (john,nick,billy) who at no point hve shown signs of maturing or slowing down haha. when they start saying no jamie i cant go out tonite i dont really feel like it, or they get married n stuff, then ill worry bt at this moment i cant see 20 being any different to the two years previous. anyways no post from me tmorrow will b far 2 busy getting intensely messed up.

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is sooooooooo boring, it used 2 hve magical anticipation quality 2 it , and even then it was boring.watched gremlins 2 doesnt hve a patch on the first one, yeh gizmo is cute bt does it need tht many scenes when it moves so infuriatingly slow.

so went out last nite pretty rubbish in the end, won some sunglasses completly useless seeing as i cant bloody wear em coz of me stupid nose.dont think i fell over altho me neck kills meks me think someone jumped on me probably, im not feeling particularly festive rite now this time of year with christmas and my bday does traditionally tend 2 b difficult for me im holding it together tho, more annoyed at this city and its limitations, i wish i cud get the pick of my friends n jus swap evryonelse with other people. evryone knowing everyonelse is actually really annoying.makes evrything more complicated than it needs 2 b.

anyways merry christmas !

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